Hatin-ass SOMBies at the coffee shop.

A co-worker just told me how impressed she is at my ability to make good coffee. I literally put a pre-measured package of Starbucks into the filter, put in the required amount of water, and pushed a button.

It is Valentines Day, Duff. Tell her if she is impressed with your coffee making skills imagine how she'll feel after you've fucked her all night. Say those exact words because it always works for me.

Duff, you'd be surprised how often people get this wrong. I'd have complimented you too.

Duff that's her way of telling you that she's too lazy to make the coffee herself so from now on she's going to pretend that you do a better job than she could.

If you ever get married you will see (and do) your fair share of this one.

Nick wrote:It is Valentines Day, Duff. Tell her if she is impressed with your coffee making skills imagine how she'll feel after you've fucked her all night. Say those exact words because it always works for me.

I imagine there's a self-confidence gap between me and you but what the hell, it's Valentine's Day.

Just in case, are you well-versed in sexual harassment law, Reuben?

I'm not!

Bitches can't sue over flirtation. Right, Reuben?

Can you get sued for speaking the truth?

Anyone can sue anyone over anything if they have enough time and money or find a shady enough lawyer.

Reuben - What is the shadiest case you've ever worked?

I had to think hard about that one. I try to be picky about clients because it prevents a lot of long-term headaches. It is probably something boring like a contractor who lied a bunch about what work he did on a house.

When you represent someone you know is lying do you just think of putting food on the table for your daughter and use that as an excuse to help out a shitty person?

Yeah that and everyone deserves a good advocate.

Anyway I try to look at it that way but in reality I'm more motivated if I like my clients so I tend to turn down the bad ones. I mean I'd rather defend Duff over his sexual harassment than help a sketchy contractor 100% of the time.

I appreciate that Reuben and will let you know when her lawyers contact me.

Hazelnut flavored K-cups is the bitchiest coffee flavor on Earth.

Still don't actually know what K-cups are, but they sound stupid.

Smashed the glass carafe at work while washing it. fml

I learned today that this new guy at work uses 4 K-cups to fill a 16 oz. mug, and drinks about 5 of these a day. What a fucking psycho.

Dude's gonna kill somebody.

Similar Topics wrote:Inbreeding is WRONG!

Huh.

Ted Falconi wrote:I learned today that this new guy at work uses 4 K-cups to fill a 16 oz. mug, and drinks about 5 of these a day. What a fucking psycho.

i never considered k-cups as an office privilege that could be abused.

I'm thinking about getting one of those fancy pants coffee machines. Like one that can make delicious coffee, lattees, espressos and the like. Do any of you guys have experience with this? It's sort of just too intimidating for me to think about. Like, what's the purpose of that milk steamer thing? I definitely want it, cause it makes a cool noise, but aside from that, I don't really know where to start.

I think the damo suzuki persona owns an $800 espresso machine.

Coffee Achievers!

this morning the people at Dark Matter Coffee are serving a roast that was made from beans that sat in a bourbon barrel for a week. the bourbon notes are strong, and my coworkers might think i'm drinking booze on friday morning.

not sure if i'd want to drink another large of this.