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    Did one of your friends ever develop a serious drug problem?

    jesus jones
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    Post by jesus jones Sat Mar 23, 2013 11:58 am

    wp64 wrote:I'm not looking for a dramatic gesture where I start asking him to choose our friendship over drugs because that would be ridiculously selfish and juvenile.
    this is a fairly problematic sentence

    if you're worried and bothered by your friend's substance issues, you need to confront him about it. offer support, but be direct and let him know that he's not just hurting himself, but it's damaging relationships with those around him. he probably won't react well at first, but if you continue to offer emotional support without enabling his drug use, eventual he will realize what he's doing. either that, or he'll hit a bottom that scares the shit out of him and will turn to you for help, as you've made it clear that you're willing to be there for him if need be.
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    Post by quip Tue May 07, 2013 11:04 am

    I've been through this many times with friends and struggled with this a bit myself. Most recovered eventually but not all. The best thing you can do is make it clear that you don't approve of what he is doing to himself and then distance yourself completely until he's ready to change. Any 'middle ground' enables him to continue doing what he is. It sucks but like others have said, this is something he's going to have to come to terms with on his own.

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    Post by Duff... Wed May 08, 2013 12:46 am

    Guess I'll take this opportunity to express my distaste for the concept of "enabling". When it comes down to it, it's the addict's responsibility, not a friend who let's him/her crash on the floor.
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    Post by Gene Bootcut Thu May 09, 2013 11:28 am

    I just revisited the entire coyote/wp64 back and forth and I think I'm gonna go read a book now.
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    Post by zappo Thu May 09, 2013 12:07 pm

    Good friend of mine is going back to jail for the third time, in a few weeks, due to substance abuse "issues." He'll be staying at this lovely establishment:

    http://abouttentcity.com/
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    Post by yancy Thu May 09, 2013 12:19 pm

    "Inspired by Sheriff Joe Arpaio," fucking disgusting. Gitmo porn for crime & punishment fetishists.
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    Post by yancy Thu May 09, 2013 12:20 pm

    You have an interesting cadre of close friends.
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    Post by zappo Thu May 09, 2013 12:21 pm

    The leader of the "White Supremacist Gang" is called Time-Bomb.
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    Post by zappo Thu May 09, 2013 12:22 pm

    Time-Bomb has a PCP habit and gets out for several hours a day on work release. He's a mechanic!
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    Post by zappo Thu May 09, 2013 12:23 pm

    There was a Time-Bomb fundraiser, some months back. Seems he was behind on his child support, so everybody who he threatened or attacked generously chipped in with a few dollars/cigarettes.
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    Post by reuben Thu May 09, 2013 12:25 pm

    Kylie Minogue fan? hmmmm....
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    Post by Guest Thu May 09, 2013 7:18 pm

    #pinkfloyd wrote:I just revisited the entire coyote/wp64 back and forth and I think I'm gonna go read a book now.
    I actually spent four hours sitting on a dock off Lake Michigan watching the sunrise and reading the autobiography of the 14th Dali Lama of Tibet. As well some other material that he has published. I have to write a paper about it soon for a class.

    I'd be interested to reengage Avec with some questions I have.
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    Post by WP64 Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:07 am

    Man, what a fucked up thread this is!! It's disturbing how hostile I was to Avec since he was actually one of the only people who bothered to even give advice. The rest of you all are basically assholes!!

    I ended up completely losing contact with this guy basically ever since this thread. I haven't reached out whatsoever in at least two years but I always hear about what he is up to from various other friends. I actually ran into him about a month ago at the Jewel-Osco parking lot in Naperville. I didn't say hello or make any eye-contact but he looked like absolute shit.

    I got a call a couple of hours ago from a high school friend who told me he had passed away today. I guess he failed out of college and was living at home again with his parents. I have no idea what the cause of death is and I'm not sure that I really care. All I know is that his parents were the ones that found him.

    Pretty horrific to think about. I feel really bad for his family. I however feel absolutely nothing. I feel like a bit of a sociopath since I was able to go out with friends tonight and enjoy the Super Bowl but this guy has basically been dead to me for a long time. I just hope his family is okay.
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    Post by Duff... Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:36 pm

    Sorry to hear that, man.

    People react to this sort of loss differently. Numbness is pretty common, and how I felt when my uncle/godfather died of cancer over a decade ago. If you can, you should go to his funeral.
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    Post by WP64 Mon Feb 08, 2016 9:47 pm

    Thank you Duff. I'm actually really feeling it today. I've been crying a lot and the whole day just felt really fucked up. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go to the funeral. About two or three years ago his parents found syringes or something in his bedroom. I had heard that he blamed the incident on me and that I had gotten him hooked. I don't know if that actually happened or not but I was worried about showing up and causing the parents, especially the mother, any additional grief or pain just from seeing me.

    I got a hold of his older sister and spoke to her. She told me that he never spoke ill of me and she hopes to see me there. So I am going to a memorial service at their family home on Saturday, which is going to be unimaginably difficult for me...
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    Post by WP64 Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:47 am

    It's doubly fucked because I just keep getting calls from people I haven't talked to in years asking me how I'm doing and if I need any help because the assumption is that I should be fucked up about this, which isn't entirely wrong I guess but it does make me just feel strange and guilty. I just hate how this puts such a weird dark shadow on my high school experience and the beginning parts of college. And that it coincides with me having to finally put on my big boy pants and become an adult. At the exact moment where I'm making these moves I get dragged back into all of this and this weekend is gonna just feel like such a fucked up, surreal, tragic visitation of everything that was so totally wrong, but also so correctable, about high school.

    I know that this happens to people, including a lot of you. So it isn't like this crazy unique thing or something and I guess the emotional process is going to work the way it does or something like that. But goddamn, I just feel really strange. I've spent this whole day just totally zoned out. I'm not sure if I should tell my teachers what is up or if that would just make it even more fucked up. Or if I should just try to put my head down and distract myself for a while and then after a month or so I will have the necessary distance from it to actually understand this. I mean last night when I wrote that first post it actually just didn't seem real at all. It's funny that people are already talking about it in the past tense. Of course because of fucking iPhones I have like years of saved conversations and shit too and all this shit gives you the weird morbid feeling that you can somehow still communicate with them. Which when I do allow myself to think about it I just end up getting so mad. I wish I could just ask him what the fuck he was thinking about or something.

    Fuck me. I don't know...
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    Post by C-poots Tue Feb 09, 2016 8:35 am

    Hey WP, I've lost quite a few friends before I hit 20 years old, and one case sounds very familiar to what you are going through. If you need someone to vent to feel free to PM me.

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    Post by Duff... Tue Feb 09, 2016 3:16 pm

    I don't know what kind of leeway your professors might give you. I think it'd be a good idea to talk with someone with the university about it. I'd also recommend using the counseling services. You have a lot to sort out and there's no shame in getting some help doing it.
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    Post by WP64 Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:50 pm

    Thanks C-Poots. I have a lot of really strong support from friends and family but that is a very nice gesture. And yeah, I reached out to one of my professors last night and he was very nice about it. I'm going to reach out to my thesis adviser today in person since it isn't really possible for me to be reading 200 pages of critical social theory right now.... He is the best dude ever so I'm sure that will be fine too.

    I don't really wanna seek counseling, at least right now. After I have some time and can think about it in a real way maybe I'd do something like that though. It's unbelievable how many calls and texts I have gotten. It's really awkward but also super cool of everyone. Even though this guy was a flaming asshole to basically everyone he ever knew (with the exception of me actually) its cool to see that people care enough to fly all the way across the country to pay their respects. I hope that gives his family some comfort to see all of these people who he was able to impact in some way...

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