going through some shit right now

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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:04 pm

    i live right by The Acropolis, which is apparently a bachelor party staple for the whole metro area

    i'm not above splashing the ones this weekend
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    Nick
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Nick on Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:58 pm

    Chrono - I am so sorry I've not been able to meet up. I've been balls deep in work stuff since getting to Portland.

    Though last night I had a wonderful meal at Laurelhurst Market & this morning managed an hour to browse Powell's Bookstore.

    I just took down some glorious spicy pork from a food truck and now back to more work shit.

    I think I love Portland.
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:10 pm

    No worries man! I figured that might be the case.

    I haven't been to Laurelhurst yet but it's a big name. Even though I'm not a connoisseur of the old hardbacks, Powell's is still a sight to behold.

    More than just the delicious food, I think Portland's food truck scene is a fantastic model in urban planning and development. More cities could benefit from offering low-overhead opportunities for people to start their own small business. There's a coffeeshop near my house that use to have a cart that sold cigars. You'd never get a cart that sells tobacco permitted in most cities, I would think.
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    zappo
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by zappo on Tue Feb 28, 2017 10:17 pm

    I've never had a deep herbal tea experience.

    EDIT: Yes, this is the right thread.
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    Soma
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Soma on Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:06 am

    Chrono, where are you from originally? I have it in my head that you're from downtown San Francisco or some other urban area in Northern California? Just wondering how the cost of living in Portland compares
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Wed Mar 01, 2017 3:51 pm

    I'm from Berkeley, California which is in the East Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area. The median price of a one bedroom in SF is around $3400 a month, one of the highest in America. In Oakland, the city right next to Berkeley, a one bedroom has risen to around $2300 monthly. Oakland has been one of the fastest growing rental markets in the country for about five years now. Rents would have been about half that ten years ago.

    Portland is now also one of the fastest growing rental markets in the country and median prices for a one bedroom is around $1400. Five years ago it was about half that.

    I lived with roommates and had a good deal in Berkeley, so my housing costs are a bit more living alone in Portland. There is no sales tax in Oregon, so buying things is about 10% cheaper. There's a ton of expensive and awesome food here, so food costs are about the same too, honestly. Cost of living in Oregon is slightly below California, but Portland is the most expensive place in Oregon by far. Recent surveys suggest you need an income of about $60,000 to "live comfortably" in Portland. If you move to a suburb 10-20 miles outside of Portland your cost of living will drop precipitously.
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:20 pm

    it's amazing how quickly you can shift from "i hate myself" to "i need to move back home with my parents and fix my deficiencies" to "i need to move to LA and really give being a creative a go" to "it looks really nice out my living room window and i should believe in myself and tough it out in Portland and try to make something of myself, because thinking there are easy fixes is the real problem".
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    C-poots
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by C-poots on Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:12 pm

    I'm getting married to someone I haven't seen in 8 months and I don't think I want to do it.
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    ClosetOfExhaustion
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by ClosetOfExhaustion on Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:24 pm

    imlikewhoa Shocked

    is that a sudden revelation on your part, or has this been brewing internally for some time?
    will you be separated for these lengths post-marriage, or is this a 1 time deal?
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    Nick
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Nick on Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:46 pm

    That sounds like a not fun conversation you're about to have.
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    undo
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by undo on Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:47 pm

    C-poots wrote:I don't think I want to do it.
    why?
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    C-poots
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by C-poots on Tue Apr 04, 2017 6:06 pm

    ClosetOfExhaustion wrote:imlikewhoa Shocked

    is that a sudden revelation on your part, or has this been brewing internally for some time?
    will you be separated for these lengths post-marriage, or is this a 1 time deal?

    It was always a feeling but figured was marriage jitters or fear of commitment or whatever. It has only intensified in the past 7-8 months and now that the marriage is supposed to be in like two months, I am really questioning if I can do it. If I don't do it though, she will not be able to come back from China so its basically like I'm ending the relationship. This whole marriage has felt like an ultimatum due to this.

    Also, she is expecting to do a PhD in Fall 2018 which would almost certainly be in a different location than where I work. It isn't china but I still don't want to have a wife that lives 4 hours away though. She's talking about having kids and sending them to live with her grandparents while she does school. I'm not at all ready for kids and if/when I am, I want to keep them around.

    Reasons for not doing it are numerous, different goals, different plans, different desires for kids, different passions, etc. We make each other smile and we make each other happy, its a very safe relationship but I don't know if that can sustain "safe" for the next 50 years. I don't feel much passion any more and if we haven't even tied the knot that isn't a great sign.
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    C-poots
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by C-poots on Wed Apr 05, 2017 11:54 am

    We're talking through it, going to go to China to make sure the love/passion is still there.
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    zappo
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by zappo on Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:13 pm

    I hope that whatever happens is what is best for both of you. If you want to get married, get married. If you don't, though, remember that the most important thing for you (and, in the long run, for both her, individually, and for both of you as a couple-unit or whatever) to do is that which is right for you. Ultimately, you're only responsible for yourself. You have to do what you have to do.

    I know that that kind of sounds like I'm saying, "Man, fuck all that. Just do what you want and fuck the haters," but that's not at all how I meant it. It just sounds like you're already a decent and sane enough person not to be phoning her up, saying, "It's over!" and calling it a day. So it doesn't seem like you need to be reminded of that. If you're making the decision not to get married (or to go ahead with it) in a respectful, communicative, and honest manner, then you're doing the right thing in the right way. Sometimes, the right decision hurts just as much as the wrong one. Doesn't make it any less right, though.
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    zappo
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by zappo on Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:14 pm

    That said, good luck! I hope it works out in the way that it should.
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    Ned Braden
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Ned Braden on Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:50 pm

    C-poots wrote:We're talking through it, going to go to China to make sure the love/passion is still there.

    This is a great call on your part imo, but what do I know?
    All I can say is good luck dude.
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    C-poots
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by C-poots on Wed Apr 05, 2017 5:16 pm

    Thanks dudes, really appreciate the honesty and everything.
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Fri Apr 07, 2017 4:33 pm

    a "wind storm" knocked out power at my apartment and it may not be fixed for up to 24 hours

    what do i do with my life
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    ClosetOfExhaustion
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by ClosetOfExhaustion on Fri Apr 07, 2017 6:45 pm

    go for a walk on the leif erikson trail
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:26 pm

    bbbbbut it was raining this morning!

    that's a good shout though, i need to get out to those parks in the NW part of the city. i just heard good news about a job five minutes ago, so i definitely want to celebrate by hitting the trails.
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    coyote
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by coyote on Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:41 pm

    C-poots wrote:Thanks dudes, really appreciate the honesty and everything.
    Best of luck in all this. Don't give up too much of yourself and your needs, and remember to go with your heart.
    My wife and I are still working out some rough shit, bitterness and anger from things moving too quickly and other extraneous circumstances, to be vague. It's hard but we still love each other. I can only say if you love her, try and find a way. But love isn't always eternal like some romantic poet may have us to think lmao
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    chrondog
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by chrondog on Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:53 am

    To me, love is so different from marriage. Romantic love is a great basis for marriage, but not the only aspect that is important. People can fall in love and make poor marriage partners if they're not in the same place in life and willing to make big sacrifices. I think the more than you can have incredibly frank conversations that try to untangle the love you have for each other from the practical aspects of making a marriage work, the better you will be able to make a decision about what is right. Don't let yourself be motivated by guilt.

    I wish you the best.
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    DBaggins
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by DBaggins on Wed Apr 12, 2017 2:51 pm

    I just shit my pants while coughing. Bronchitis is a hell of a virus.
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    Bruegel
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Bruegel on Thu Apr 13, 2017 9:49 pm

    ^ quite a return.


    I had some horrific dental surgery today. 3 hours and 8 injections to get the bastard roots out from under my bastard impacted wisdom tooth. They had to wait for over an hour for the bleeding to stop sufficiently to stitch me up.

    Now enjoying my first work absence in over 7 years.
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    Ned Braden
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    Re: going through some shit right now

    Post by Ned Braden on Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:42 pm

    Bruegel wrote:Now enjoying my first work absence in over 7 years.

    Shocked

    Somehow this is simultaneously baffling and not that surprising.

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    Re: going through some shit right now

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