Do you attend concerts alone?

Nick's post about not going to see Sunn O))) because he couldn't get anybody to go with him got me to thinking about something which I often discuss with friends or other losers in real life--whether or not/how often people are willing to attend concerts without anybody else tagging along.

I'd say that about 90% of the shows that I attend are ones at which I don't know anybody.  I'm totally fine going with friends, but I know very few people in real life who are interested in most of what I'm looking to see; and even when they are, in many cases, they aren't necessarily interested enough (or free) actually to go to a show.  Within the last few months, I've seen Sunn O))), George Freeman, Acid Mothers Temple, Mdou Moctar, Richard Thompson, and probably several other acts on my own; I'll probably be seeing Damo Suzuki, Royal Trux, Carly Rae Jepsen, and others without any company, too, pretty soon.  I saw Kevin Drumm and bumped into Paves's old lady, a month or two ago, but I didn't know that she was going to be there when I decided to go.

Is this just me?  Same goes for movies.  Nobody else ever wants to see The Young Man Was, Part I: United Red Army or whatever I'm trying to catch, so I almost always go alone.

Timely thread, just yesterday I was at a concert with my brother and was amazed to hear that he's only just started attending them by himself, previously having just allowed his favourite acts to slip him if they were in town and he couldn't find anyone who wanted to go. He also had some intense thoughts on how much he's supposed to move his body during a concert, seems like the whole thing can be a madness for him.

I love going to stuff alone; gigs, films, restaurants (always with something to read, obviously). There's really nothing I enjoy doing with other people that I don't also enjoy doing by myself

I went to see Luna in late 2017 and Jeff Mills/Tony Allen in early 2018. Before that, I saw The Orb in [looks up date] 2013 (!) by myself.

I used to go to shows alone all the time but when I turned 25 I suddenly started feeling awkward and depressed for no good reason and would spend the whole show fixated on how everyone else there was socializing and having fun and how it was actually really lame to keep doing this standing all by myself thing.

The only time I ever really struck up a conversation with a stranger is when I saw Wire at Abbey Pub and I think this guy was trying to hit on me and it was really weird.

My girlfriend will not do this stuff if it's at a venue without chairs. Most of the time this is really more important than who's playing.

I’ve gone to a few concerts on my own but always feel awkward. Which shouldn’t be the case because if you’re focusing on the band it isn’t exactly a social environment.

I tend to get paranoid and think people are staring at me because I’m alone.

Soma wrote:(always with something to read, obviously)

Last night, the opening act (David Pajo) cancelled. So I totally brought a book. Siegfried Kracauer's From Caligari to Hitler.

Oh, I just meant at restaurants. That book has been recommended to me though, I'm sure it's on the same level as whatever Pajo's been doing since the last record of his I heard (Spiderland)

Oh, this is a thread now.

I'll add I hate doing music festivals with other people. Missed the first twenty minutes of Angel Olsen at Pitchfork because my horny friend wanted to chat up some guy he was crushing on who was obviously straight anyway.

undo wrote:My girlfriend will not do this stuff if it's at a venue without chairs. Most of the time this is really more important than who's playing.

I hope it's OK that I find this really funny.

Alone is one of the few good ways, and definitely the simplest, to attend shows imho (especially when you super give a shit about the performer).

Soma wrote:Oh, I just meant at restaurants.

I think this was the first time I brought a book (it is much more impressive in concept than in its execution, so you know; it's my second read, and it's even more disappointing than the first) to a concert, for the record.  It was a two-hour wait in a literal church while sitting in literal pews, so I needed something to kill the time.  Warts and all, it did the trick.

EDIT: I do not own a smartphone.

Ned Braden wrote:Alone is one of the few good ways, and definitely the simplest, to attend shows imho (especially when you super give a shit about the performer).

I definitely don't attend shows anymore where I don't super give a shit about the performer. I mean, who has time for that?

yes

Yeah. It's totally fine. The only part that sucks is the awkward period of time in between sets where you kind of aimlessly people watch and secretly kind of wish someone would start talking to you. I saw Grouper recently by myself and it was great.

I was planning on eventually using this thread to say that I’d be going to see Royal Trux alone and if anyone else was doing the same that would be cool too

I was also going to be there. But so was Paves and some guy who used to be Deej's brother's roommate.

Growing up as an only child, I sometimes prefer going to shows and movies by myself.

Not a concert, but I'm going to see Endgame by my lonesome later this AM.

You're in decent, if not good, company. Just last night went to see a movie by myself--Hu Bo's An Elephant Sitting Still.

I went to a movie this week by myself. It's quite nice. You are sitting in a dark room staring at a screen so there is really no need for company. The only thing that I can't do is go to restaurants by myself. I've tried it before and it makes me feel extremely self-conscious for some reason. I feel like the waiter is always judging me or something. There are so many amazing restaurants here in Siena and I kind of wish that I had a girlfriend just so I had an excuse to go try all of this food.

I might try again and follow Soma's advice by bringing a book to read, but I don't know man.

So you guys, like, sit by yourselves on lunch break, right? It's dinner we're talking here, right?

I don't know about Italy but I do dinner alone all the time in Southern Spain. Prices here are great, and sometimes I don't feel like cooking. A chill place with outdoor seating with a book and a glass of wine, and I feel like I'm just chilling rather than "dining alone."

Restaurants just provide a very social atmosphere, in general, so sitting by myself makes me feel incredibly isolated and alone. An outdoor spot would definitely help but the only outdoor seating here is in the main Piazza and all those restaurants are just over-priced tourist traps.

They came right on time with this one. It's actually a really interesting read. And it looks as though Soma isn't the only Brit who is increasingly comfortable with the idea of solo dining:

As a nation, we have also become less self-conscious about solo dining. The bookings website OpenTable recently reported that reservations for one have increased across the UK by 160% since 2014. Bar seating and communal tables are increasingly popping up in restaurants.

They point out in that article that people who eat alone are often watching screens (smartphones, Netflix, etc.) Apparently this has been linked to over-eating because it distracts people from realizing how much they are eating and people tend to eat much quicker as well. I understand that, but what is the fucking alternative? Who is just sitting in a room by themselves focusing intently on how they are eating their own dinners? I guess you could pretend like you're in a Warhol test screening or something to make it seem cool...

To be honest it seems way, way weirder to go to a place that requires a reservation to catch up on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

I used to go to a lot of shows, and when I had to it was by myself.  Venutes were easy to get to (and leave if necessary) so off the top of my head, I know I saw Royal Trux, Faust, Palace Brothers, Hot Snakes, Smog and Guided  by Voices on the same bill at Lounge Ax, Chrome Cranks, Dave Van Ronk, and Truman's Water unaccompanied.

I remember at least 2 failed attempts to get into sold out Luna shows when no on wanted to go with me.  Same goes for the Chicago stop of the infamous Pavement / US Maple tour.

I attended solo a very sparsely attended Waylon Jennings performance in Grant Park where Waylon was in a wheelchair.  He died the following year on my birthday.

I'm going to see Flipper next month.  I may be by myself!