One-Liners (Jokes, Thoughts, Musings)

That's true like 10% of the time. But sometimes people are just total, unrelatable assholes.

Jesus, that six months flew by.

I'm on a different calendar.

I wish I could stop saying 'I think'. Any opinion I state is obviously my own, it's completely redundant. It seems to be hard-wired into my DNA and there's nothing I can do to change it.

Traveling around the world has made me significantly more racist, especially against Australians.

Are there any Aussies on the board?

undo wrote:is this true or just a wise-sounding saying that people like to repeat?

Mostly bullshit, imo.

The things I hate about myself are things I'm very sympathetic to in other people.

I go out of my way to avoid doing the things I hate about other people.

Soma wrote:I wish I could stop saying 'I think'. Any opinion I state is obviously my own, it's completely redundant. It seems to be hard-wired into my DNA and there's nothing I can do to change it.

i love saying 'i think', it sounds more humble and doesnt make you seem like another of those pedantic assholes who believe their shitty opinions are facts

Soma wrote:The things I hate about myself are things I'm very sympathetic to in other people.

I go out of my way to avoid doing the things I hate about other people.

No doubt. But sometimes you don't realize that you're doing something you hate until you seem some other asshole doing it.

rubberman wrote:

Soma wrote:I wish I could stop saying 'I think'. Any opinion I state is obviously my own, it's completely redundant. It seems to be hard-wired into my DNA and there's nothing I can do to change it.

i love saying 'i think', it sounds more humble and doesnt make you seem like another of those pedantic assholes who believe their shitty opinions are facts

yeah, i think 'i think' is fine.

'to be honest', on the other hand, often comes off like a tacit admission that lying is your default setting, tbh.

undo wrote:What you hate in others is really what you hate most about yourself.

is this true or just a wise-sounding saying that people like to repeat?

i find that there's few things that make me more uncomfortable than someone else reminding me of myself

Q: What does the frog carrying a hot pan to the dinner table say?

Spoiler:

Bruegel wrote:

rubberman wrote:

Soma wrote:I wish I could stop saying 'I think'. Any opinion I state is obviously my own, it's completely redundant. It seems to be hard-wired into my DNA and there's nothing I can do to change it.

i love saying 'i think', it sounds more humble and doesnt make you seem like another of those pedantic assholes who believe their shitty opinions are facts

yeah, i think  'i think' is fine.

'to be honest', on the other hand, often comes off like a tacit admission that lying is your default setting, tbh.

I use "to be honest" online all the time, not really sure why. Rarely say "I think" though. Feeling like a real schlub itt.

Having money + talking > walking > just talking.

I hate it when I have to speak to someone.

undo wrote:

Money talks, bullshit walks.

I still have no idea what this means. I guess I don't care.

is fast money a slow walker?

i don't like fast women

I find I'm irrationally drawn to illusive figures in art/music/fashion and might be inflating the value of their output based on such.

hey guys kansas really is flatter than a pancake

Just heard maybe the worst joke in the history of comedy on a conference call. But the odd grammar of the punchline pushed it into so-bad-it's-good territory. Glad I was on mute, because I lol'd.

"What do you get when you cross a fridge and a radio?"

"A cool music!"

do you have to announce yourself on your conference calls, yancy?

what i'm asking is if next time you have a call with these people, you DM me the info and I'll sit in too.