When parenthood gets REAL

undo wrote:Do you ever just completely bullshit your kids?

Constantly. I tell them untrue tales and legends I sometimes make up. I just like to keep things ambiguous. I don't want these kids getting too confident.

I told my kid that once when I was young we were playing out in the street at a busted hydrant. Which was true. But I also peppered in that one kid went barefoot and stepped on glass. His foot got infected and they had to chop it off. None of the latter was true.

I did this because she never wanted to wear socks or shoes. So I needed to make her afraid by sprinkling in tales every now & then of footless children.

Also told them if they jump on the couch and break it, I will go to jail and they would have to be homeless.

I told my daughter I invented the phrase Christmas Eve Eve

My 13 year old and 2 of his friends got thrown out of Target yesterday because they were riding the motorized cart in the aisles and video recording it. Of course, posting it all over their social accounts.

My son called me to pick them up and they were loitering in front of Panera looking guilty or assuming they were in trouble. I find it harmless and hilarious but don’t think they should be disrupting a business and causing problems for minimum wage employees.

But the other parents found out and are furious and want to talk about it and what we’re doing about it. Ugh. Like, this is not a big deal or hinting that they’re on a course for extreme delinquency. But now I’m going to have to pretend that I’m very disturbed by this behavior so we don’t get labeled as the too forgiving parents that don’t teach our kids proper behavior and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to have our kids associate with other kids.

I find it appalling that you are socially obligated to interact with any of those idiots.

I have no idea how people are parents.

My oldest had a sleepover with a couple of his buddies last night.

Came down this morning and saw they made Mac n cheese last night and trashed the stove and counter. Didn’t clean anything up.

Then, saw an email from Xfinity thanking me for renting Wolf of Wall Street. Which is not age appropriate for them but also means he knows my parental control password.

hell yeah

edit: sorry to downplay your concerns but I just thought that was an unexpectedly elite selection

Good luck dealing with the other parents if it goes that way… my least favorite thing about being a dad, dealing with whiney morons who don’t actually parent their kids, they just manage them.

What were the age inappropriate movies y'all watched at that age. I distinctly remember a sleepover aged 12 which involved a VHS copy of Se7en.

I found my dads porn collection and ended up turning the whole neighborhood on. I was a legend in those days, lol. I think I was like 12-14, don’t remember the exact age it all started, but it was definitely ‘junior high.’

Pete Best wrote:What were the age inappropriate movies y'all watched at that age. I distinctly remember a sleepover aged 12 which involved a VHS copy of Se7en.

Most of the age-inappropriate movies I watched were sanctioned. Die Hard w/ a Vengeance and Demolition Man spring to mind. Also, True Lies was a family movie in our house - simply because it reinforced "family values" - which is just hilarious to think about now.

Pete Best wrote:What were the age inappropriate movies y'all watched at that age. I distinctly remember a sleepover aged 12 which involved a VHS copy of Se7en.

I grew up with a television and black box cable in my own bedroom. I had unrestricted access to everything including the Spice and Playboy channels and every film on HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and PPV would run on repeat.

Also had my own VCR (2 in fact) and my own video rental card from a local mom & pop so I could rent games & movies.

I grew up free to do whatever the fuck.

My son and wife are running a marathon this weekend so I have the house all to myself.  
I made myself a dinner filled with fat and I’m about to have a second piece of pie while I listen to drum and bass and watch the end of the bulls game.

Your son is running how far?

I'm mildly terrified to find out how old he really is because last time I checked in with you he was... an age that seemed appropriate for a friend's child. But that was kind of a really long time ago!

He’s 16 and it’s just a half but that is 13.1. Last year, around the Beverly area we have a 10k called the Ridge Run. Literally the morning of with no training or planning, he decided to run it and got a great time. I was so proud.

Kid broke his wrist. This is the first major injury/ER visit and it isn’t pleasant. Just feel so helpless as a parent. Nothing I can do to fix this problem. All we can do as parents is support him and assure him this will heal fast, lots of kids have gone through broken bones & try to keep him positive.

Also, bless the hearts of the Rush Hospital ER employees. The absolute shit show they have to deal with is incredible.