My wife gave me a break from Fathering lol

She's out shopping 4 fall clothes with my daughter.

I am eating a TON of my daughter's goldfish crackers

and looking 4 serial killer documentaries on netflix
after listening to Dopesmoker by Sleep on high volume

the other week they came home and i was in the middle of "why didn't johnny come home"

i really didn't want to turn it off

Living the dream my dawg.

Wait is that the green vinyl reissue of Dopesmoker?!?!

I passed out drunk in the living room today with an uneaten kebab.

The cat started eating it and woke me up shitting loudly. Cats don't like chilli sauce.

This is not elite but I guess its a form of parenting.

the other day passing the railroad tracks with my daughter: "rememba when mommy was driving and the FUCKING train came?"

"What?"

"Yeah, the FUCKING train came, and we sat there because the FUCKING train came."

I didn't know any swear words until I was 9 years old I'm such a square.