The Tim Tebow Chronicles.... some spoilers included:
Not as mindblowing on a spiritual/emotional level, but arguably just as hilarious, and there were most definitely some mindblowing spiritual/emotional elements. Would wholeheartedly recommend it. First chapter didn't hook me in the same way 17776 did (with the bizarre, what am I even reading right now, screen melting lead-in), but it kept getting better and better and better the whole way through.
A handful of highlights:
"Ah man, I forgot my keys. You got any?"
Bound For Street (BFS) supply stations that exist hundreds of miles beyond the field of play and that everybody has ignored for decades except team historian/strategist Natrone Means who has the whole thing charted out.
And on that note... "Natrone Means." Since I basically stopped being a serious sports follower 15+ years ago, the callbacks to 80s and 90s era players is so incredibly up my alley. Remember all these dudes, and love Bois so much for making them central to these stories. Rocket fucking Ismail yo.
The chapter where time apparently breaks and and James bond is being played by Jaden smith in 2046 (we are to assume?) and the kid that got killed in the first minute of the Wire is apparently playing a leading role in the show’s 65th season.
When Todd Peterson, 33 year veteran kicker and one time Navy Midshipman, finally finds his purpose.
The chapter with the seafaring Nova Scotians have a football pirate fleet coming at them and it’s revealed that when the decade+ long drive started football was essentially cancelled for the rest of the league.
Bois pop culture shoutouts are always the absolute best:
Tebow. I'm kind of busy right now.
Schooner. Greenland and Iceland should basically just switch names. They touched on this issue in the second Mighty Ducks film, but only briefly in conversation. I wish they would have explored the issue further in the third Mighty Ducks film, but they didn't. Maybe in the fourth one they --
Tebow. Please be quiet.
or
REDBLACK. Hold on. Quiet. Listen for him, he's in here somewhere.
Second REDBLACK. So anyways, Argyle is in the parking garage the whole time, he doesn't even know what's going on. And he's talking to this huge teddy bear --
REDBLACK. Shut the fuck up!
Or with the way merchandizing is done with movies and tv shows slapped onto any and everything.
Hitch Shoes,
Monkeybone shirt,
Kangaroo Jack pants,
Mamma Mia! snowshoes. I want to own everyone of these things. Just, god damn dude.
The REDBLACKS font size to protect the brand and resulting court ruling, holy shit.
"There's just not an answer for that sort of pass coverage*."
* Pass coverage: blowing up a frozen river
Initial draft of the prominent 17776 theme: mankind has done all it can do…. So it evolves a new thing to care about: “sports bruh.”
Bois wrote:We are small. We are nothing. We are such nothing that the universe does not acknowledge that we are even here, and it never will. Accept that. And now, stand on this line, and look at that quarterback, and drill the fuck out of him. Nothing you do will be more important, because nothing you do will be important.
And Tebow is totally the right version for a story that concludes that human achievement is basically over but leaves the possibility for the existence of God.
Oh, on God, this exchange in like the very last chapter was a doozy:
Volquez. So we're art? Oh no, is God an art school kid?
St-Hilaire. Is God even a man?
Volquez. I don't know, maybe not. Did we just pass the Bechdel test?
St-Hilaire. Finally. Holy shit.
Yeah, this stuff is even better than Rick and Morty
Mitchell. Ricky told me everybody switched to sippy cups in the 13th century. They didn't like how often they spilled with normal cups. Even wine glasses have little sippy nozzles on the top.
Hall. I guess they've transcended dignity.
Mitchell. That's the only way you can beat it, I guess. Forget it's there.
Fucking Greenland City.
11/10, would read again!!
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