going through some shit right now

Being a parent now, this is probably the worst thing I could possibly imagine. Sorry to hear about your friend.

My stomach literally feels like my non-existent appendix has burst again.

boozing + IBS?

Yeah.

Also ate some chips, but curses! They were healthy home cooked gourmet chips.

My IBS suffering mate gets pissed and forgets that he shouldn't eat onions and orders a dopiaza.

Yeah, why do they even serve alcohol in Indian restaurants. It's a calculated assault.

Not feeling great about life lately. I'm in a shitty funk where I am not getting satisfaction from my job, hate everything about my house, music / movies not giving me enjoyment and don't even have interest in sex.

I fall into a deep sleep each night but wake up at like 3 and can't fall back asleep so I'm fucking exhausted all day.

Nick it sounds like you need to get some ice cream or maybe treat yourself to some Lego.

I was gonna recommend watching Three Amigos. That usually does the trick for me.

I think the way out of this is immersing myself in the discography of The Cure. Before this week the only album I had listened to was Disintegration. I haven't listened to that in like 8 years because it reminded me of the worst break up of my life.

Anyway, people call this music depressing but holy smokes I'm having a blast taking it all in. Bout to give Pornography the 4th play of the week! Wooooo hooooo!!!

Never a bad time for The Cure.

Glad to see things looking up for you.

I was home this weekend and my Dad was pretty sick with something... I woke up this morning with the worst headache ever and had to endure six hours of classes. I have no idea how people that commonly get migraine headaches are able to endure this. They are true heroes. This feeling is absolutely debilitating for me.

I hate being sick!!

"There's something going around!"

Every time more than 1 person has a cold.

I hope you feel better soon wp64.

I'm too busy to do anything enjoyable anymore and when I do try to, I feel like I shouldn't be and I can't be relaxed and mentally present for anything at all.

I haven't been to a concert in 2 years. Last week I looked to see what shows were coming to town and saw that Luna was playing on Friday. I didn't even know they had gotten back together! I was excited about it but did I go? Of course not. Just thinking about money all the time, can't really go out on the town when my gf has been painting the house al day, can't ask her to go. Because I know she'd be bored and hates standing shows, was completely exhausted after fake work on Friday ao I juat came home an sat on the computer for an hour and then tried to study for like 15 minutes beforw going to bed at 10:00. It's like I know this is it and there's nothing I can do about it and there isn't even anyone who will be the least bit sympathwtic about it because I guess I'm supposwd to be like "hey kids get off my lawn lol well at least I have money now!" or something. Maybe that would be true if I was finally making a living but no let's hold off on that for anither year shall we

Would be awesome to save up to go on a trip (kind of sort of finally meeting people who could be the first real friends I've made in like 10 years, they like to do this and it's silly to think that they'll all still be doing any of this shit in another 2 years or whenever it'll be when I finally get my shit together, life doesn't wait for you or reward you for being patient or responsible) or to a fuckin Bulls game (just do something fun that's not eating out or whatever) or at least buy an engagement ring but here comes Christmas again, time to buy presents for everyone in her family instead! I know my attitude about all this is awful and I hate that.

My back hurts all the time and I feel like I need to shit constantly but in truth that's just not happening anywhere near as often as it needs to and when it does it's devestating. But hey, that's getting old for you! Sex is the last thing on my mind when this is happening and I'm lucky to get any break from it at all these days. Just stressed out all the time anymore.

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow.

Undo it sounds like at least some of those problems are the result of dehydration.

undo wrote:I'm too busy to do anything enjoyable anymore and when I do try to, I feel like I shouldn't be and I can't be relaxed and mentally present for anything at all.

I haven't been to a concert in 2 years. Last week I looked to see what shows were coming to town and saw that Luna was playing on Friday. I didn't even know they had gotten back together! I was excited about it but did I go? Of course not. Just thinking about money all the time, can't really go out on the town when my gf has been painting the house al day, can't ask her to go. Because I know she'd be bored and hates standing shows, was completely exhausted after fake work on Friday ao I juat came home an sat on the computer for an hour and then tried to study for like 15 minutes beforw going to bed at 10:00. It's like I know this is it and there's nothing I can do about it and there isn't even anyone who will be the least bit sympathwtic about it because I guess I'm supposwd to be like "hey kids get off my lawn lol well at least I have money now!" or something. Maybe that would be true if I was finally making a living but no let's hold off on that for anither year shall we

Would be awesome to save up to go on a trip (kind of sort of finally meeting people who could be the first real friends I've made in like 10 years, they like to do this and it's silly to think that they'll all still be doing any of this shit in another 2 years or whenever it'll be when I finally get my shit together, life doesn't wait for you or reward you for being patient or responsible)  or to a fuckin Bulls game (just do something fun that's not eating out or whatever) or at least buy an engagement ring but here comes Christmas again, time to buy presents for everyone in her family instead! I know my attitude about all this is awful and I hate that.

My back hurts all the time and I feel like I need to shit constantly but in truth that's just not happening anywhere near as often as it needs to and when it does it's devestating. But hey, that's getting old for you! Sex is the last thing on my mind when this is happening and I'm lucky to get any break from it at all these days. Just stressed out all the time anymore.

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow.

I feel you 100% with this post and have made similar, despondent posts recently. As far as not shitting regularly goes, I've also been dealing with this. I thought about going to the doctor but actually think this can be attributed to Fall starting and my busting out some new raw denim. They are super tight right now and I think the whole breaking in phase is messing with my stomach this year.

My stomach has been fucked too! I'm afraid of going to the doctor though because I would probably rather die than have a doctor probing at my bootyhole...

Reuben, how did you do it? What is the secret?

Wow... All my shit just went south really quickly this week.

I'm still sick. I spent last night huddled in blankets watching an incredible and captivating Cubs season come to a crashing conclusion. I stayed up until 2am working on a project that I'm already behind on. I e-mailed my teacher at the beginning of the week telling him I was sick and wasn't sure if I was going to be able to attend class.

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache and felt incredibly empty. I spent three hours just laying on my couch surveying my life and couldn't find a single thing to be truly excited about. I opened my computer and found an e-mail from my professor telling me that today was the last day to drop classes without failing and he advised me to take that opportunity because he had no choice but to fail me. Today was my third missed class (although two of those were this week) and apparently this cunt doesn't tolerate people being sick. Which pisses me off to absolutely no end.

I became absolutely irate. I wrote a long response explaining how disgusted I was at reading his e-mail and told him that I respect his institutional standards but that it doesn't justify his decision to lack any sort of compassion or empathy for students. I don't allow anyone to reign down on me with their bullshit authority like that. Seriously, how hard would it be to start the e-mail by just saying "hey, i hope you are doing okay but..." Fuck him. At the same time I now feel disgusted with myself because the e-mail undoubtedly read as completely self-absorbed and entitled, which I hate. But I really didn't know what else to do... This is my last year here and I have never had an experience with a professor like this in my life. I basically shamed him into allowing me to stay in the class with a minor grade penalty and now I have to go meet with him on Monday morning, which will be really awkward because I actually do like this guy and don't understand why he is deciding to be a total fucking asshole about this.

As this was happening I got an e-mail from the head of the philosophy department announcing that I wasn't going to receive funding for a project that I had assumed I was definitely going to get. So I feel like I just lost $1,000 and a great opportunity to work with a doctoral student and focus my attention on writing a good paper that I could use to help myself get into a good graduate school program. Which, I honestly don't even know if I have the desire to do anymore because everything seems shitty. I've been fighting with my best friend and haven't talked to him in like a month. My mom has been going through some weird shit with addiction that has been absolutely brutal to watch and to maintain some degree of personal privacy I won't elaborate any further on.

But goddamn man, I'm running out of things to keep me going right now. The year is on a slow death march towards the endlessly cold, dark, and bleak wintertime. I'm completely unmotivated. I want nothing to do with my social life and my intellectual interests are becoming flimsier by the day.

hey fellas

keep yr heads up

undo wrote:I haven't been to a concert in 2 years. Last week I looked to see what shows were coming to town and saw that Luna was playing on Friday. I didn't even know they had gotten back together! I was excited about it but did I go? Of course not.

Just found out that Garbage played Chicago the day after this, which I also couldn't have gone to because I sold my soul to work 2nd shift every Saturday. I'd actually been actively checking their website for any news about them going on tour, I did this like every other week for a year or so and then gave up, I think right at the point where I see they announced all this back in June.

School is kicking my ass right when it counts the most and when I have the least time to give to it, at least we're finally done moving but I fear the damage has been done.

Undo, what do you go to school for? I'm sure this has been mentioned somewhere else but I can't remember.

nuclear medicine

Shouldn't be difficult to get into but there's just so much competition these days that you've got to have a background in healthcare or a couple of degrees just to walk into a program that was once something that you could do right out of high school. Job market is flooded as well so when I graduate in August I'll be fortunate to get a 1 day/week position for a couple of years just to get my foot in the door.

I really do wonder if I'm cut out for this at all but I'm in really deep at this point and there's no plan B if this doesn't work. I guess I could learn to "code" but that's the new big thing and it might already be a totally saturated field. I've got to get out of school, this has to be it I really can't keep doing this any longer.

At least I could always smoke some weed at the end of the day or at least on Friday night but now I'm super-paranoid of being tested and losing everything. My plan is to work in the field long enough and hopefully I'll get a sense of what random testing is really like and what to expect based on wherever I end up, but I should probably take a few years to do this and learn through experience because you really can't go around asking people about that stuff.