going through some shit right now

Fucked my back up in the shower today. Now I can't bend down to put trousers on without severe pain h8 this fragile body

wake up every day in the cold existential sweats. fairly convinced i won't live to be my parents' age due to the potent mixture of climate, political, and social collapse.

If that's really how you are feeling everyday, you should seek some therapy and try to work through it. You could also try either being more engaged with politics at a local level or adopting a more detached view when reading or listening to the news. The world is not an unmitigated disaster and even if it was it shouldn't be impacting your mental health in such an extreme way.

i do all of those things. i'm in therapy, i work super hard with richmond and virginia-based social justice groups, and i take a lot of breaks from the news. i've always felt this way, it's just gotten stronger since 2015.

I'm sorry. On the bright side, it means that you actually care and haven't been totally numbed to human suffering, which isn't true for a lot of people. That's an inherently good quality in a person even if it sometimes manifests as self-loathing or depression.

Jesus Jones if it makes you feel any better what I try to remind myself is that probably every generation in history has believed that the end of the world is right around the corner and I don't think we're special enough that we are the ones who have it right.

WP64 wrote:I'm sorry. On the bright side, it means that you actually care and haven't been totally numbed to human suffering, which isn't true for a lot of people. That's an inherently good quality in a person even if it sometimes manifests as self-loathing or depression.

the state of the world exacerbates the mental illnesses i have, very true. and i can't ever be numbed to it because there's never enough i can do.

reuben wrote:Jesus Jones if it makes you feel any better what I try to remind myself is that probably every generation in history has believed that the end of the world is right around the corner and I don't think we're special enough that we are the ones who have it right.

this is actually a bit of a comfort

My parents decided to move to Florida like 2 weeks ago. Yesterday they sold their house and they're leaving for good some time in June.

Are you happy, sad, conflicted, or other about that?

Conflicted, I want them to do what they want. I know they're not really "happy" here anymore. I do enjoy spending time with them, but we hardly ever make it happen. I always wanted to pack up and move a thousand miles away but never did it. If I'd do so without worrying that my absence would somehow be hurting them, how can I hold it against them to make the same choice?

Sad because I'll miss them and the dogs and I honestly don't envision making trips to visit on a regular basis. I don't even know where they're moving to in Florida but I'm not even sure they have made a final decision yet either.

Happy because they will reliably vote Democratic in a place where it actually matters.

I'd be upset about my parents moving to Florida, only because it would mean that I'd have to go visit them in.... Florida.

Just watched a lady dust off a half pint of ice cream with a fork at Whole Foods.

My head really hurts right now and I just want to whine about it.

Be grateful you have nice parents guys. I wish I did. My mom basically disowned me. She’s sided with my mother in law over the health and safety of my family and child. My wife is seeking a restraining order against her immediate family. It’s very complicated but we just want peace and stability in our life and our extended families offer only either danger or drama.

Jeez dude, that sucks. What happened? If this story is well documented elsewhere please link me.

I’m very sorry that’s happening to you and your immediate family, I don’t know how to even begin to legally deal/emotionally cope with anything like that.

BGwaves wrote:Jeez dude, that sucks. What happened? If this story is well documented elsewhere please link me.

I've never really told the whole story, it's very messy and pretty private and since we are going through legal channels and so on didn't want to say too much. But my wife and I have both always been scapegoated by our families and it's only gotten worse over time. My mom is a covert narcissist and my in law mom is overt malignant narc.

My mom blamed me for my dads death. He died of ALS, and they did not leave a spot at the head of the table at his funeral. That was the last straw for me and we now have next to no relationship. She now is dating a former Sheriff of a local county. I moved and two days later she texted me that she know she where I live.

My mother in law is 100x worse and her family is unpredictable and dangerous in our opinion. We set boundaries for the health of our child and they flipped out. My mom continues to feed my MiL information about our personal lives so she can continue to stalk us. Also my FiL is a lawyer. My moms BF is a cop. So we have to be aggressive and document their abuse as thoroughly as we can. It sucks.

That's fucking awful Avec. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with their collective bullshit. You are right that having a supportive family is a luxury and it is definitely one that I often take for granted. You've done the right thing putting them in the rearview. Also, tangentially related, your kid is really lucky to have you as a Dad. When I first started posting with all of you, I was a very angsty and stupid teenager with a lot to say but with literally nothing of value to contribute. Despite that, you were the only boarder who was never dismissive and you never belittled me, even though it was definitely deserved on a lot of occasions. I always really appreciated that.

Retrospectively, I've realized that those are quite rare characteristics and your kid is really fortunate to have someone in his life who is always going to take the time to really try to understand them in that way.

Thanks WP, that really means a lot.

I could write a lot about what’s gone on in my family but it’s too absurd. That may be why I’ve always been pretty supportive of people being mistreated because I understand it all too well.  

Over the past year I’ve read over a dozen books on narcissism and family dynamics and it’s changed me completely. I’ve also been on a couple of Facebook groups that have blown me away with familiar and painful stories. The majority of the group members are women who have suffered under abusive narcissist mothers and have C-PTSD. Some have even had their children stolen from them by their narc parent.

Many people are in family dynamics such as these and either don’t know they are and suffer under a terrible role through a lifetime, or repress their hatred in servitude of the dynamic. It’s rare the people that try and individuate or set any type of boundary. Those that do are often cast out, smeared with all sorts of lies or mistruths by the narcissist and written out of the will, as I likely will be. I know this may come off as an exaggeration but it is not, as evidence of the thousands I have met on Facebook groups with similar experiences, countless books written on the subject I’ve read, and some insane experiences I’ve had with sociopath level narcissists.

A lot of therapists do not know how to deal with narcs, because narcs cannot change. Also many therapists are not educated on narcissism, although it is of prime importance to be educated on the topic. They often are manipulated by them in therapy. And also almost never tell their scapegoated clients to go “no contact” with their abusive narcissist family member.

coyote wrote:The majority of the group members are women who have suffered under abusive narcissist mothers and have C-PTSD.

Very interesting Avec and thanks for sharing. This sounds like my aunt to a T.

My grandmother is definitely an overt narcissist and my mom is totally enmeshed with her. People who go through this often can only have codependent relationships.

It’s not shocking your Aunt has experienced this, it’s all too common.

Sorry, Avec. Glad to hear that you're dealing with things productively, though. Good luck, going forward.

I hate to make such a trivial post after something as serious as that, but I'm going through some shit right now where I can't shit. And constipation ain't no joke... I think it has been like two or three weeks since I took a normal shit. Yesterday I tried to address this by taking an over-the-counter laxative but that really didn't help much. Today I went to the grocery store and bought an entire carton of prunes and ate as many as I could.. Now I just feel really nauseous and I keep farting and burping.

This has never been an issue for me before since I always make sure to drink enough water, eat plenty of fruit, and exercise. I think this is all because I stopped drinking coffee recently... It probably doesn't help that I have been eating so much pizza, pasta, and other starchy foods as well.

Whatever the cause, this is genuinely horrible.

Try cocaine! I used to have to take a shit just thinking about my dealer coming over. JK

My guess is that it is the slow digesting foods you are eating coupled with the lack of stimulants(coffee). Eat more leafy greens and fiber! Also, try fasting for a day or two, give your digestive system a rest.

WP64 wrote:I stopped drinking coffee recently

why?