going through some shit right now

Feeling all these posts, and pulling for all you guys.

It´s been four straight years of really violent ups and downs, and everytime I think I´m finally breaking through to something new and better, well…  not so much. Maybe I´ll elaborate at some point, but just wanted to pop in for solidarity. Solid bros boarding hard and coping with depression together and all that

You guys kick ass. Try not to forget it.

Agreed. Also, I think journaling is a really good strategy. Psychology 101 tells us that the worst thing we can ever do is repress negative thoughts and emotions since they will only just manifest in other ways. So yeah, I think you should totally keep up the habit, especially if it is also an effective strategy to help you cope in the immediate.

I can't contribute much to this conversation but I went through a really dark period of extreme anxiety and depression for about a year and a half. It was tough. I would have trouble even leaving the house. I couldn't be in crowded spaces. I really thought I was losing my mind for a while and was probably pretty close to a nervous breakdown. One of the things that I used to always tell myself during that horrible episode in my life was "this isn't me, I am not supposed to be like this." At the time, it was really frustrating. Because it was like "why is this all happening to me, why can't I get better, what the fuck is going on with me, etc." But I think in the long-run, it probably helped to always keep that thought in the back of my mind. Because ultimately, it was true.

Don't let your negative emotions or thoughts define who you are as a person. I can assure all of you that from the outside, people have overwhelmingly positive things to say about you all, which speaks to who you really are. Try to remember that. You'll all pull through!

We just discovered my brother in laws violent criminal record (involving an assault rifle) and feel vindicated from keeping our daughter away from that side of the family. Literally as my wife was explaining how we wanted space from them and did not trust him, my mother in law was calling her crazy and insisting we were unfit parents because we wouldn’t let them back into our lives. Her brother committed some type of assault days later and was in jail and likely bailed out by his lawyer father. He once told me he has an app that helps him find people’s phone number/address by their license plate number. If they cut him off in traffic he calls them and “gives them a chance to apologize.” Straight up sociopath.

After my dad passed away, my mom pretty much disowned me and quickly fell head over heels for a former police lutenant. I worry that she’s being taken advantage of by this guy (like he’s a dirty John type). She won’t let me meet him. She has a lot of money and he doesn’t due to his recent divorce/alimony. There’s nothing I can do about it. She never listened to me. No one in the family ever did, I was the scapegoat 100%. She’s terribly codependent and very mentally unstable. Hopefully it’s just a regular romance but I’m skeptical.

Right now my wife and I have filed for bankruptcy after a myriad of crazy experiences, one of them being owning and selling a money pit house. Looking forward to passing off all that debt.

I know all of this sounds sad but truthfully I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been in my life.

i think a friend of mine killed herself last night. no one can find her and she posted a very short, troubling "bye yall" on facebook around 10 pm. another friend and i went out searching for her last night at her usual spots to no avail. not feeling good about this at all.

Jesus. Hope it turns out OK.

@JJ: Oh no, that is really terrible news. I hope you find her, alive. Life is fucking precious.

@Avec: Happy to hear your instincts were right. Dangerous people have no place in our lives, especially our kids'. Your family situation sounds like it gives you no lift, and that makes life really hard. Really sorry to hear about the bankruptcy, but your response to it is pretty incredible. Stay buoyant, especially for your kiddo.

So sorry, wishing for the best outcome

JJ that must be the worst feeling, I hope it’s not what you guys think it is and she comes back safe.

Thanks MK, just making the most of what I have because life is short

JJ I don't know how much it's worth but you're in my thoughts and more

she was found alive

Thank goodness.

Glad your friend is okay, JJ.

Not sure anyone cares but I have been receiving nothing but negative news for the past several months. I was really optimistic about this year and felt like I was putting myself in a position to really get the most out of myself. It seemed that I was developing real prospects and that I would be able to realistically work myself into literal positions of power through which I could dedicate my energies to the causes that I care about in this world and to generally help advocate for social justice and human flourishing. Literally all of that has basically eroded. Not only have my long-term prospects suddenly narrowed and vanished, but my short-term reality is also really bleak (basically lost my job, no revenue, a fucking viral outbreak forced me to come back home where I am living in my parents house, my uncle died, I have no health insurance, etc. etc. etc). Of course, everything that is happening politically in this country is also literally destroying my will to live at the moment.

I don't like feeling sorry for myself and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me either. But I feel incredibly defeated and right now it is kind of hard to imagine mustering the energy to get myself back up and going, even though I know that is the only option.

Fuck, man.  Sorry to hear about all of that even if you don't want me to be.  Awful.  Any chance you'll be heading back to Italy in the near future?  Or did coming back at this point mean that that ship's sailed?

If it makes you feel any better, a clerical error on the part of Blue Cross Blue Shield has left me wrongly without medical insurance for the immediate future, and the somehow-more-insane-than-you-imagine bureaucracy they've got going on means that, even though they only told me that my insurance coverage would be terminated on 3/1 (and again, that it was 100% their fault) in the middle of February, it will be 15-45 days before they can simply check the box that they accidentally left unchecked.  As a Type 1 diabetic, this is something of a terrifying situation.  So you're not alone on the health insurance front!

Fuck, god dammit dude. I hope shit gets better.

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