going through some shit right now

Soma wrote:I'm sorry, no one deserves any of this

For the past month my ninety-two year old grandmother has been living with us. Recently her age has been showing more and more but she always endures it with an incredible grace and patience that I hope to someday find for myself. As the holidays are coming, it is becoming more obvious each day that we can't all be together during Thanksgiving or probably even Christmas, it has been really hard for her. It feels so profoundly and almost cosmically unfair that she has to deal with all of this in her old age... Of course, she is lucky. As are most of us. We are not threatened by eviction, we have not lost our jobs, and we never have to worry about where our next meal is coming in the middle of a fucking pandemic.

Lately, these thoughts have just been filling me with an incredible dread. We live in a world of such incredible wealth and sophistication and yet each of us have probably never felt so alienated from our families, our friends, and ourselves. Really since the Sanders' campaign has ended, I have felt like my life is just going to be spent as a passive observer of other people's (and my own misery) and the only real choice is how you insulate yourself from it all. Changing the actual conditions just seems incredibly futile, which won't prevent me from continuing to struggle for it.

I hope you guys are all doing well. The State of Illinois has cancelled co-payments for mental health consultations (other Democratic-controlled states have probably done something similar) if anyone needs it. I hope you guys are all well and taking care of yourselves.

Viv, I missed your post the first time around. My condolences first and second I hope you’re recovering. You’ve always been a top poster in my eyes, stay strong dude.

[quote="WP64"]

Soma wrote:
Lately, these thoughts have just been filling me with an incredible dread. We live in a world of such incredible wealth and sophistication and yet each of us have probably never felt so alienated from our families, our friends, and ourselves. Really since the Sanders' campaign has ended, I have felt like my life is just going to be spent as a passive observer of other people's (and my own misery) and the only real choice is how you insulate yourself from it all. Changing the actual conditions just seems incredibly futile, which won't prevent me from continuing to struggle for it.

You’re only passive when you’re not active. Try to not let your feelings overwhelm you. Rather, find a way to continue your activism. The fight doesn’t end when a new president is elected. There is another election in 2 years and then again 2 after. Have you ever considered running for anything yourself? I consider you well read and a good writer. If you can find a way to do that in public with some charisma you could easily hold office locally or better. I mean you see the chumps that run, right? How about becoming a teacher? If you moved to Chicago you could work for CPS and really be a part of change by affecting kids that need it desperately. Plus join one of the most well known teachers unions in the country. My partner is a CPS teacher and was her schools union delegate for 4 years, only stepping down recently from burnout after the strike ended.

Despair is a trap. You have to make the best of the time you have on this planet. I’m not talking about serious mental health conditions but in my opinion it’s easy to be depressed and give up. Its harder to keep pushing on.

damn dude that sucks and I hope you are OK. my wife and I both tested positive as well. it's scary shit.

we made it without getting really sick and I hope the same for you. and, also my condolences for the loss of your loved one.

Viv, sorry for your loss and I hope you are feeling better.

Tried to trim my beard and didn't notice which blade I was using, therefore having to take the whole thing off because most of the right side of my face was missing

now I just have a shitty moustache, three weeks of getting through the unpresentable stage for nothing

I know this might seem petty compared to other stuff in here but I feel this is the thread for everything from 'I stubbed my toe' to 'they had to amputate my toe'

For the past year, I have been experiencing a lot of back, pain, and shoulder pain. When the pain gets really severe, which is intermittent, I will also get a lot of headaches as well as really horrible gastrointestinal pain. The bloating and indigestion manifests as a chest pain that almost exactly mimics coronary episodes, which is of course scary. I went to a doctor and got X-rays on my shoulder and there is nothing structurally wrong, which is great but I still don't have any relief. The fact that my muscles in my back are pretty sore and I get a lot of joint pain (clicking when I move my shoulder) is kind of reassuring that these symptoms aren't anything more serious that is related to my heart.

But I have been having a rough go this week, especially last night. I just felt an incredible amount of pressure in my chest, which was super unnerving and scary. I looked up the symptoms of a heart attack and one of them was literally "a feeling of impending doom," which basically describes my everyday state of mind. So that also doesn't help me at all.

I am sure it is nothing. I am twenty-seven years old. I am skinny, work out, quit smoking several years ago, eat well, and monitor my health. But there is also a pretty bad history of this shit in my family (my grandfather had open heart surgery in his late 40s) so I guess it isn't something to totally sweep under the rug. Anyways, just kind of on here to moan about my discomfort and my medical phobias. Shit sucks.

And of course if anyone has any advice on alleviating this pain other than Tums for the bloating and heat and ice packs for the back pain that would be really helpful. I can't exactly figure out where the pain manifests from, which is frustrating. I can tell you that every time I shrug my left shoulder there is a loud popping over my collarbone. It basically feels like a tendon is forcing it downwards or something.

Honest question regarding the above: What kind of food do you eat? Could it be related to your diet? Late 20s and early 30s I had something similar and drastically changed my food intake and exercise routine to stop it.

When this first started happening to me I was living in Bologna. I went to see a doctor and he basically told me to stop eating tomato sauce and fatty foods. Then he laughed at me and told me good luck since that is basically all there is to eat in the entire region of Emilia-Romagna.

Over the past year I have tried to monitor it. Weirdly, I notice that a lot of carbohydrates will tend to aggravate the problem even more than acidic foods like tomato sauce. Also, I really cannot and should not be eating before laying down but that is a horrible habit of mine, which is very hard to break. I've been thinking it could be a gallbladder issue since my Mom had stones and that is highly genetic. But that pain manifests under the right shoulder blade (mine is exclusively on the left) and is aggravated by greasy and oily foods, which is something that I almost never eat.

Very curious what you did though to help you situation. I'll try anything at this point because I can't keep living like this. It's fucking bullshit.

Are you drinking enough water

Yes. I do try to drink a lot of water. I've gotten into the habit of drinking an excessive amount of carbonated water because it helps to alleviate some of the gastro discomfort by forcing me to burp. I don't know. It is super weird. I have been dealing with this for so long now. When it gets really bad, like it has been this week, it can be pretty debilitating...

I have similar issues as well. Something I’ve tried recently is not eating until I’m hungry. Even if that means skipping a meal. Dinner is usually the only meal I eat 100% of the time. It helps with indigestion a lot. How much do you eat for each meal?

The past few years have been pretty shit for me. Years ago (2016), lithium poisoning destroyed my kidneys. Diabetes then finished them off in June of 2019. I went on hemodialysis. In October 2019 I had a heart attack, and had a stent placed. In October 2020, I then had a heart bleed from my blood thinner and had to have emergency surgery to have a chest tube placed to drain the blood. Almost died twice. Last month had 2 more stents placed and I'm 35 and I'm not obese and I have a completely clean diet... I've so far been denied from Vanderbilt's and Cleveland Clinic's transplant lists. Vanderbilt because of my heart attack and I'm pretty sure Cleveland clinic because of my bipolar. Working on getting on 4 other lists currently though!

Jesus Christ my problems are so fucking stupid.

Good luck DBaggins. If there were any justice in the world, fuckers with the means would all be bending over backwards to help you out.

DBaggins, I’m so sorry to hear about all of that, my god. I’ll pray for you brother. I know such things are sorta meaningless after sharing this heavy news but I recently listened to some music of yours that I found on a CD when we moved. First track is called syringe. Anyway, it was awesome and helped that particular day melt away, thank you.

Really sorry, DBaggins. Always really enjoyed your presence on the board. I'm glad you have found your way back here and I hope your transplant gets approved.

Just dropping in here; you all made an enormous impact on my life. Hoping for the best for all here, good luck user dbaggins <3

no idea why I would have expected my insane anti-vaxxer mum to not have the same stance on one that could potentially save her life, but welp, here we are

I am going through it lately.

Nick wrote:Could it be related to your diet? Late 20s and early 30s I had something similar and drastically changed my food intake and exercise routine to stop it.

Hey Nick, what exactly did you change about your food intake and exercise routine. I am still dealing with this shit and it is driving me crazy. I have been experiencing a lot of persistent mid-back issues. Physical therapy has been helping to relieve some of that irritation but it is a very gradual and maddening process. I can never tell if the back pain is a contributing factor to my stomach and indigestion issues. My assumption was that I could have a hiatal hernia since I was manifesting a lot of symptoms but I have ruled that possibility out through a recent medical image of my chest.

Now I am wondering if the gas and inflammation might come from an irritation of my diaphragm. Not sure what I can really do about that though.. Its either that or some kind of food intolerance. I have not had any severe stomach issues. It is mostly just the constant feeling of bloating and gas, which I can usually manage with some combination of tea, anti-acids, and stretching, but I just can't seem to find a permanent solution that truly makes me feel better.

DBaggins,

You are a young man and I am hoping for the best for you.

I'm sorry to hear about it.

WP64 wrote:

Nick wrote:Could it be related to your diet? Late 20s and early 30s I had something similar and drastically changed my food intake and exercise routine to stop it.

Hey Nick, what exactly did you change about your food intake and exercise routine. I am still dealing with this shit and it is driving me crazy. I have been experiencing a lot of persistent mid-back issues. Physical therapy has been helping to relieve some of that irritation but it is a very gradual and maddening process. I can never tell if the back pain is a contributing factor to my stomach and indigestion issues. My assumption was that I could have a hiatal hernia since I was manifesting a lot of symptoms but I have ruled that possibility out through a recent medical image of my chest.

Now I am wondering if the gas and inflammation might come from an irritation of my diaphragm. Not sure what I can really do about that though.. Its either that or some kind of food intolerance. I have not had any severe stomach issues. It is mostly just the constant feeling of bloating and gas, which I can usually manage with some combination of tea, anti-acids, and stretching, but I just can't seem to find a permanent solution that truly makes me feel better.

I had to do an 8 month reset/evaluation of everything I was eating and do a lot of trial and error eating. I immediately cut out the majority of carbohydrate and sugar from my diet. It wasn’t quite Keto because I wasn’t focusing on high fat/protein but I could tell that pasta, rice and basically anything out of a box with an insane amount of sugars pumped in was causing me issues with digestion, acid reflux and inflammation.

I moved to eating high protein foods like chicken, pork and some red meat and vegetables. Which sounds boring but isn’t if you prepare it well and use seasoning or marinade that avoid ingredients that could upset your system. I stopped eating dessert and cut way, way down on alcohol consumption. Had to look at what was in any mixer I would use as well in case that had high sugar content.

I avoided cardio because it was only making me hungry and caused me to eat poorly throughout the day. Switched to weights and walking basically.

After 8 months to a year I slowly reintroduced some carb intake but not much. Your body can process better once you’ve done a long term reset and won’t have those extremely negative reactions. Anyway I’m not a nutritionist or think this would work for everyone but it helped me eliminate a lot of what you seem to be dealing with.

first attempt to put contacts in at home, accidentally dropped one of my reusable lenses down the sink